If you’ve read any of my previous posting I have yet to talk about my co-workers. That is all about to change. I mean that in the most ‘respectable’ manner possible. It’s been a few days since my last post so first off I apologize and allow me to dive into what you’ve missed.

I called this post The Talking Co-Worker because I know you can identify with this. If you work in a office at all then I know you have one of these around the cubicle. This ‘individual’ feels the need to speak more on the phone than respond to emails and turn in their part of projects. What is interesting is that her supervisor does nothing. The best part of it all is that she thinks that there is nothing wrong with this.

I have actually timed a day of her phone calls and the total has come up to 4 hours. That’s right readers. 4 hours of talking on the phone. That is half the day on the phone talking to friends. How does that even happen? I mean seriously, that is just ridiculous.

So, on the days I know when she is going to be on the phone majority of the day I have come up with some games to play.

Speakerphone Alert

I would come in early and program her phone so that anytime she took a call it would be on her speakerphone. The first few times I almost feel out of my chair because she talked to her friend for 5 minutes before figuring out that the handset wasn’t working properly.

Trying to be as nice as possible – she is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

You Have Voicemail

Another thing I truly enjoy doing is that when she is on the phone I leave messages on her voicemail. Nothing bad – just hang-ups. The point is that when she’s on the phone and see’s her red light go on she feels the need to check it out because who knows it could be work related. After a few hours of this I usually get tired of this but hearing, “Oh I got another voicemail, let me call you back…” every minute can be amusing.

Email Updates

If I am every put in a project with her (I try as much as possible not to be) I set up hourly updates asking for updates. No, I’m not trying to be some pompous/arrogant person. What I do is blame a malfunction in the program but yet every hour an update email notice pops up on her screen. I set it up to make sure I’m away from my computer. Something about hearing, “Oh my GOD! He’s sending it again…hold on” (gets up from chair to look at my desk) “oh, he’s not there…”

It’s the little things right?

Change The Phone Numbers

This is funny just for the sake of being funny. What I’ll do is when she goes out to lunch I will switch around her phone numbers. So, instead of a 1 its a 2. This actually takes her a few minutes to figure out but a great laugh out loud moment.

I know some of these might seem a little mean but seriously I have to go back to it – 4 hours?! How can someone spend 4 hours on a phone and it NOT be an emergency? That is just plain ridiculous.